MY CHARACTER COSTUME

This is my costume for my character Alex. I chose a rain coat as the play is set in Spring when it may rain quite a bit. I chose to wear jeans and a top to also be casual but also smart. Also, I'm carrying a bag given that I arrive at the beginning of the scene with all my things inside. 

Henry David Thoreau

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

Henry David Thoreau

Bob Marley Quote

Open your eyes, look within. Are you 

      satisfied with the life you're living?      

 Bob Marley

Buddha Quote

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of 

the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

- Buddha

Hey, I'm Alex. I'm 18 years old and I now live in Hampstead with my father Joseph Potter. I was born in Rwanda where Joseph rescued me as a baby and adopted me because of the genocide that was happening at the time and separated me from my brother. Sounds like the norm right? Lol.

 You may have heard of him, Joseph Potter? Yeah, google him or something. Actually, don't. He used to be a famous photographer back in the day. I used to go to King's College but I dropped out lol funny right? You must be thinking " Why on earth would you leave Cambridge!? " right? Well I can tell you it...it just wasn't for me. I like art and drawing things to express my emotions most of the time. I don't have a boyfriend because I see them as a waste of time really. Love never lasts forever, I learnt from experience.

What do I aim to be in the future you might ask? I don't know. Who actually knows who they want to be? No one does really! As a child we all say " I want to be a singer " or " I want to be a policeman " or whatever crap we used to say when we were kids oblivious to reality. Now, I know shit. Now, I know what's real. So I'm not going to pick my destiny, I'll let life choose it for me. Cos life has their own rules, their own way of going about things and I respect that. So what am I going to do? I'm going to let life do it's job. 

Yeah, so, that's about it really. That's me, Alex Potter.

My Tumblr

I decided to make a photo slideshow on tumblr where I can express different things. Here it is: potteralex.tumblr.com

MY FAVOURITE INDIE SINGER OF ALL TIME!

 

What's the secret?

There's tension between Simon and Dad - I can feel it. They're both hiding something from me and I just want to know what it is! " Go on, tell her! " Simon said. Tell me what? And why does Dad look so scared? He couldn't take both Simon and only could take me and that's the truth! I mean, why would he lie? However, he never quite directly said why he decided to take me and not Simon. See! I'm over-thinking again! I can't help but wonder what all of this commotion is about to be honest. You see, I love them both. Simon's my blood brother so I have no choice really and Dad, well, he's dad. I hate to see so much tension between them! 

Joseph looks guilty of something. Now Simon's right up in his face looking as if he's about the beat the crap out of him and Joseph just wants him to be quiet! But about what? What is Joseph hiding that he doesn't want Simon to say? Was Joseph telling the truth when he said he could only take me? Or did he choose to only take me instead? All these questions...I want answers! In fact, I demand them! I'm not going to stand here anymore just watching this.

It must be quite overwhelming for not only me but for Joseph too - Simon coming out of the blue like that. Maybe that's why them two are starting to argue a lot? Not seeing someone for a long time can really make things weird. That just can't be it though, I know it! What are they hiding?

Where Do I Belong?

I'm Alex "Potter". 18 years old, ex-student at Kings College in Cambridge and my occupation is a worker at Sainsbury's. Do you know what's sad? That's all I can say for myself. I don't know what else to say because there is NOTHING else to say about me. Oh, I'm from Rwanda too and I like art. Interesting, right? Don't worry; I know I'm not the most exciting person you could meet. That's what I want to change about myself, I want to be more exciting! I want to be adventurous! I want to be reckless and I want to be bold! I don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck in Hampstead with Joseph. Yes I know it's just a visit but considering I now live in a bedsit back in Cambridge, it looks like the only other option I have is to stay with him. However, there is another option.

I want to go back to Rwanda. Yes I know that's the country Joseph saved me from when I was a kid but it's my hometown! My mum lived there, you know? I just feel like now at this confusing moment in my life, I need my mum. I know I'll never see her again because she's passed on but I feel like by being in Rwanda, I'll be close with her.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to find myself, trying to find who I am and I'm struggling. I feel like I'm drowning in this huge ocean and no one is around hearing my screams, hearing me plead for help. I'm lonely. I didn't have much friends at college. I definitely know no one wants to be my friend now after what was seen in the lecture theatre! Oh well, I'm not at that stupid college anymore anyway. I just want to find a place where I belong! A place where I can be myself and a place where I can be free! I hate having to feel so confused about everything. You'd think I'd get used to by now knowing I won't be able to hear my mum's voice ever again wouldn't you? Her laugh, her smile, the way she'd cry with laughter whenever I did something funny. But I can't, I just can't. I need my mum more than ever right now and she's not here and she never will be. I miss her.

Despite Joseph not letting me go to Rwanda, that won't stop me. It may say he's my father on paper but he is not my father by blood. If I want to find myself, I believe Rwanda is the perfect place to start searching. 

Humiliation at it's peakest

I have never been so embarrassed, pissed off and humiliated in my whole life! How could this happen to me? Out of all the pictures there are of people involved in the Rwandan genocide, they had to pick the one that Joseph took of me crying because my mum was dead right in front of my eyes!? That’s bull! Absolute bull! As soon as the picture appeared on the lecture board, everyone’s head turned to look at me without hesitation. Pssh, I’m not surprised really. If there was a picture of a girl in my school in the same lecture room as me involved in genocide, I’d turn my head too. I heard whispers coming from every corner of the room aswell. “Is that Alex!? “, “Oh my gosh is that her mum dead infront of her!?”. I just got up and ran. I could feel myself getting light-headed and gasping for breath as if I was about to have a panic attack and I had enough of being embarrassed for one day. 

As soon as that picture came up, I recognized it instantly. The cloudy smoke in the background, the dark blue sky, the thirsty-looking trees and the ground coated in crimson blood and corpses. One thing I could never forget was the body of my mother in that picture. Everyone assumes that my mother was dead when that picture was taken because she looked lifeless from behind but Joseph and I both know that she was alive. Whilst that picture was taken, my mum was gasping for breath. " Alex, Alex, Alex " she kept on saying but no words could come out of my mouth except from the noise of me crying hysterically. The last thing my mum said to me was " I love you " then she stopped speaking; she stopped breathing. Mum looked so peaceful at that moment. 

I can't go back to King's College, in fact, I refuse to! The humiliation is too much to face again.

Arriving In Hampstead

Hampstead Station, 2:04pm, Thursday 12th April 2011. That is the date and time I arrived here at Hampstead. Infact, I’m still here actually.  It's now 4:17pm and I'd rather be here sitting in a corner of Hampstead Station surrounded by strangers than be with my "father" Joseph. Our relationship isn't that great to be honest.

When I get nervous, I begin to draw. I don't know why; I just do it. Weird, right? I'm just nervous about seeing my dad as I haven't seen him in half a year now. We hardly speak too... I mean, what is there to speak about? It would just be small talk like " hi ", "how are you?", "how's school?", "how's work?" and whatever. I don't want to waste my credit on a conversation that won't even go anywhere. If we can't even talk on the phone, how are we supposed to talk in person?

Joseph, he tries; I know he just wants the best for me. It seems like it was just yesterday I told him I got into King's College in Cambridge, he was so happy! How am I supposed to tell him that I've dropped out? Now that's another awkward situation I want to avoid.

I think it’s time I make a move now; people are starting to throw 10p coins at me as if I’m homeless and are complimenting my painting. Hahaha, wish me luck, I feel like I'm gonna need it.